5 steps to parenting the introvert

5 steps to parenting the introvert

Here are tips on dealing with a child that’s an introvert…

In an Alpha world it’s tough for the quieter types, or the introvert. We all want the best for our children and so naturally feel that by taking the role of outgoing leaders they’re more likely to succeed and less likely to get picked on. Allowing kids to be who they really are and equipping them with the tools of self-confidence and pride in their strengths is the best we can do to help them to thrive.


‘Intense engagement in an activity is a proven route to happiness and well-being, and a well-developed talent is a great source of confidence. Introverted kids usually have the capacity to develop great passions. Cultivate these enthusiasms’ – Susan Cain, Thepowerofintroverts.com

Empower your introvert

  1. Don’t just accept your introvert, celebrate him! Resist the urge to modify how he does things and work with him instead of against him. Allow him lots of space and time to play alone in a setting he feels comfortable in. Above all, don’t label him as ‘shy’ as he’ll see his ‘flaw’ as a set trait rather than as a feeling he can gain control of.
  2. His life belongs to him Many parents seem to live vicariously through their kids. It’s difficult for an outgoing and competitive parent to understand why her child just doesn’t crave the limelight, especially when it seems there are so many more opportunities for kids than when we were young. Let your creative and intuitive deep thinker find his own path – and let him do it at his own pace.
  3. Don’t cause your child to be ashamed of his personality traits as you might have been If you’re fairly introverted yourself, take care not to project your possible low self-image over the fact as well as your possible past hurts, onto your child. Allow him to feel good about himself and to follow his own path as this’ll be his armour against similar external pressures. The world is a different place now; don’t force him to conform. With his intense nature, focus and tenacity, he’ll surely find his way to greatness quicker when you’re not running interference.
  4. Living as his true self will be his greatest source of happiness and fulfillment It seems we grow up trying our best to be who we’re not, and then spend the rest of our lives returning to who we truly are!
  5. Teach him to stand up for himself It’s best to start young and let him know that it’s okay to have boundaries. When negotiating differences in introvert-extrovert relationships, you might find your introvert adapts by becoming a ‘pretend extrovert’, and that’s okay!


10% of the population are introverts

‘It’s estimated that ‘introvert’ is a distinction that applies to only roughly 10 percent of the population.Extroverts are gregarious and dependant on others, so they form majorities and seek to exclude anything that threatens the cohesion of the group, which introverts do by their very existence. Yet, the introvert is still a social creature, just one who prefers a group of five close friends to a group of 50 random ones. While the extroverts are clustered together with the majority, introverts exult in their shared interests to satisfy their need for a camaraderie, which the 90 percent can never give them.’ – Giant in the playground forum (Giantitp.com)


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