Nervous for your first date after a break-up? Don’t be!
Stacey Lewis, founder of Thedivorcesource.co.za and author of Divorce 101: Survive & Thrive, advises against jumping back into the dating world immediately after a divorce or break-up.
‘Allow yourself time to heal and do some introspection and analysis to help you realise the role you played in the co-creation of your divorce or break-up’
- If you were in an abusive relationship, it’s important to be aware of some red flags you may need to look out for to avoid similar patterns in future.
- If you’ve been rejected, remember that just because you may not have been ‘right’ for your ex, that doesn’t mean you’re not right for someone else.
- Know what you’re looking for in a partner and what qualities are important to you before you re-enter the dating game. Know what you’d like in a partner but remember that they’re also just human.
- Be authentic. Many modern dating manuals suggest marketing yourself and playing games. But if you want a real relationship, be real and upfront about what you’re looking for from the get-go.
- Once you start dating again, take things slowly and really get to know the person you’re with.
Some first date advice from around the office
- Dress comfortably. You want to look good and make a good impression, but you’ll be more relaxed if you feel comfortable.
- Keep an open mind and don’t close yourself off to the possibility of new love and second chances.
- Be safe. Always let a friend know who you’re meeting and where you’re meeting them.
- Keep it casual. Don’t treat your date like an interview with pre-developed questions. Just enjoy the natural flow of conversation.
- Ask your date questions about them self. It’ll give you a good idea of what makes them, them; and your date will feel that you’re genuinely interested in getting to know them.
FEATURE: CANDICE CURTIS PHOTO: FOTOLIA.COM